Im sure we have all been in a situation in life where we have made people suffer. We may have been unaware of it or we may have been fully aware of it but we didn’t know why we were doing it.
Today id like to help you figure out why you may have done this in the past or why you may still do this too the people you love in the present.
Just like you, I am broken. You want to know how or why? Read on.
When we are children we are subject to many different new and overwhleming experiences. One of those experiences is growing up and absorbing energy, vibration and sound from our parents. We listen to their voices, we here them shout, cry, get angry and argue and we never ever forget this. Even If you don’t remember these things we never let them go. They have been ingrained within our DNA as we have grown up over the years. This becomes a huge problem. Ever seen the way animals react to arguments within your household? Ever heard a baby crying when you started shouting at each other? It isn’t the noise that upsets them, its the lowering of frequency in your heart and your voice that upsets them. When we get angry and upset we naturally lower out vibrational frequencies and our energy that surrounds us. This is why when we argue we either lash out or cry. We are frightened and are vulnerable. Lowering your frequency makes you weak and makes you lose control. All these feelings, energies and vibrations are also absorbed by everything around you especially humans. Whilst you or your children grow up and they are subject to these changes in frequencies they absorb them and store them in their subconscious or conscious mind. This leads to the destruction of peace and happiness and will bring on suffering later on in life.
Let me help you understand.
I have a didgeridoo right next to my computer set up so I’m going to use that to help me explain so things can be understood a little easier hopefully 🙂
A didgeridoo is originally an Australian musical instrument made out of a hollowed piece of tree. It is hollowed out and creates a very deep vibrational sound that is very earthly and relaxing. You use your lips to create a vibration that is sent along the piece of wood to make a louder sound. The wood needs to be in perfect condition without any cracks in it to make it fully functional.
Imagine you are a brand new didgeridoo as a baby. If your parents look after you, you will be a wonderful musical instrument providing beautiful healing sounds to the world and you will bring a lifetime of happiness and joy to others around you.
If you are subject to violence, hate speech, suffering or lack of love you will be unusable in the future. You will develop CRACKS, you will sound terrible and you will not continue to bring happiness or beautiful vibrations to others. You are broken and all you will understand is how to be broken and then you will just want to break others because you cannot be fixed.
Why am I broken?
I had a difficult upbringing. I was unloved, uncared for and left out. I am the middle child, the second boy with an older brother and younger sister. I naturally did everything wrong and was labelled the troubled child. Id be in trouble all the time, like alllll the time. I was never hugged or told by anyone they loved me or wanted me there. I was just left to my own devices most of the time which again, always led me into trouble. You know what happens when you get in trouble right? You get a bin can of ass whooping! Yes all the time, every time. I was so scared of my own father I hated him. There wasn’t anybody there to pick up the pieces afterwards either. Id have to cry it out and just wait for the next ass whooping which was probably a day or a week later!
Why am I talking about this? Because I suffered throughout my childhood and I have made other people suffer in my life too. I never understood why I did it too people but this is the real reason why. Im broken.
Now we can choose to stay broken or we can choose to fix ourselves. Why stay broken when we can at least try to fix things?
So the first steps to fixing anything is to realise it is happening.
The second step is acceptance. YES I do do this etc
The next step is to figure out why it has happened and what you can do to fix it.
The last stage is to accept that things happen, they can be fixed and you will fix it.
If you do not fix this problem you will only make others around you feel the suffering you place upon them.
I remember when I was young my dad said to me his dad was a horrible bastard too. You see why and what happened? My dad didn’t realise, he didn’t accept and he didn’t get too any stage soon enough to fix it. Who I am in the present is made up of who I was in the past. If my dad played a major roll in my upbringing, he lives through me. He is part of me. I cannot let what he did to me, continue to effect how I treat others. So I have learnt to accept what and who I am and also have learnt to start to change things about myself so I do not continue to hurt those around me.
DO NOT LET THIS BE AN EXCUSE. This is an experience, you can and you WILL fix this. There is no need to blame others. It is part of your journey. My dad is an absolutely wonderful man who has so much kindness in his heart. He changed later on in life and I have so much unconditional love for him. I don’t hate him for what he did, It was all part of the making of me. We live, we learn and we learn again. As long as we learn, we grow.
In Buddhism they teach that the consciousness has two parts.
The store consciousness and the mind consciousness.
In simple terms the store part of your mind is where the seeds are stored. The seeds could be any emotion like anger, love, hate, happiness etc etc
When we chose to water a particular seed it grows and expands into the mind consciousness where it takes over your conscious mind. If something angers us, the seed of anger in the store consciousness is allowed to grow into the mind consciousness. It then becomes the powering and present feeling or emotion. What you have to realise is what you pay attention to and allow to manifest inside your consciousness, you will become.
So how do we use this to heal us?
We look at the opposing emotion to anger or suffering which is happiness and love. We accept what was in the past, we revisit those memories and smile to them. We bring them love and happiness and say, I am grateful of all experiences in my life, thank you for being there for me but I will not allow you to be a part of my future as you are not here in the present with me anymore. You are fear and I am love.
We must fill our mind consciousness with love and happiness, the more we do that the less space there is for anger, hate or fear. This is like neuroplasticity, it is simply reteaching the mind how to deal with things. We train ourselves to let go of old habits and to replace those old habits with new ones.
Let go of all things you fear. We need to let more love into our hearts. We need not to blame others for how we are, life is just an experience. There may have been a reason why you are the way you are today if you had a similar upbringing to mine but it is still no excuse not to change and heal yourself.
The world needs a little less suffering so why not let go. Let the light come in to you heart and be free of old ties.
All my unconditional love
P.S The blog picture is my dad 🙂 He has been a great teacher in my life and in my awakening. Just because things used to be bad it doesn’t mean they have to stay that way. We LIVE, we LEARN, we LOVE.
-o0o- Om Mani Padme Hum -o0o-